The thing that makes work so difficult is, frankly….difficult people! There are stresses about getting a project done, how I will perform, having too much to do, or working on something in a new arena which makes me feel unsure or incompetent. But generally the middle of the night awakenings, headaches, churning stomach and “I can not WAIT for the weekend” comes from the people I work with. That can include bosses, peers, vendors, clients, administration…basically the situations with people that make work hard to handle. I will again be presenting a training called “Working with You is Killing Me: Freeing Yourself from Emotional Traps at Work” -a curriculum by CRM learning, based on the book of the same name (by Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster at http://www.amazon.com/Working-You-Killing-Me-Emotional/dp/B001Q3M5DU).
Of the many trainings I present, this seems to be a well-attended one. (Why isn’t Ethics or Accountability as well attended??) I always get a response when I talk about the title dealing with difficult people- “That is a GREAT name!” “So true-the people at work are a pain in the neck.” The curriculum covers confining roles (how we typecast others and vice versa); boundary busters (how difficult people invade our boundaries at work), and toxic relationships. The best takeaway is the 4 steps to “unhooking” with difficult people (including bosses and peers). How to unhook physically, mentally, verbally and with a business tool (yes, you read that write) are concepts that are practical and easy to remember. I love especially like the last one- unhooking with emails, use of a policy or job description, reviewing documents which refer to agreements, meeting agendas, performance benchmarks.
Being proactive with difficult people means understanding what “hooks” you, making a plan ahead of time, verbally setting boundaries, disengaging from toxic people and physically taking a break to regroup. Difficult people won’t go away, but we can learn how to manage it and unhook so the workplace can be manageable.