Emotional bingeing is a type of mood swing when a person allows a continual, unfiltered expression of feelings. It goes beyond just the expression of feelings and can be intense and overwhelming. However, this can turn to an emotional addiction to the physiological highs and lows of emotions. The emotional addiction takes root when a person unknowingly becomes addicted to the adrenaline rush of the ups and downs of their unregulated feelings. The adrenaline (epinephrine) is a chemical that is released when strong emotions are set off. It allows the amygdala to send signals to the frontal lobe of the brain that then allows neurotransmitters that speed up your heart rate and show other signs that you are becoming angry. This is the same process that occurs with other addictions, which is why it can be confusing as to why a person defaults to this “habit” of intense emotional response when it seems it is not good for them or they want to stop it. The “feel good” part of the adrenaline rush ends with the crash of emptiness, discouragement and helplessness, as with other addictions. These mood swings can become uncontrollable and take over life.
Emotions come from the arousal of the nervous system. Emotions also share biochemical links that set off your nervous, endocrine, immune and digestive systems, which can impact your whole body. The emotional binge can seem to come out of nowhere.
What it looks like:
“I was an emotional drunk, bingeing on self-abuse and other abuse with tears and tantrums until I was exhausted and helpless, unable to be a loving person or complete the things I knew I needed to do.” Emotional binges aren’t just a matter of temperament; they can create problems for relationships, careers and dreams. This emotional instability can ruin lives.
Symptoms:
-anger, rage attacks, bitterness, blaming, yelling, physically acting out, reviewing revenge scenarios
-helplessness, being in a black hole, wallowing in your sadness
-self-pity, victim mentality, seeking others to resolve your emotions and rescue you from your concerns
-other intense emotions you have difficulty managing (jealousy, envy, etc).
(There is a distinction between feeling sad, hurt, grief or depression. Discuss with your therapist)
The solution is Emotional Sobriety. The only way to get “sober” is to acknowledge the dependence on personal emotional drama, seek to recover from this self -sabotage and surrender the emotional roller coaster. Labeling this emotional bingeing as emotional drama, personal theatrics and self- sabotage is the beginning of breaking this addiction. Seek an action plan with Sheri on how to overcome your cycle.
Breaking the EMOTIONAL ADDICTION CYCLE can include:
- Identifying and naming your emotional bingeing and addiction cycle (include the behaviors)
- Take responsibility for the damage it causes you and others
- Determine what are the triggers that set this off (use of thought log); understand emotional pattern
- Seek physiological ways to break the arousal pattern (bi lateral stimulation, tapping, distraction) and break the mood swing cycle
- Establish alternate physical and behavioral ways to express feelings; seek emotional regulation
- Resolve past emotional issues that set off the trigger
- Seek to move in the “opposite spirit” of the emotion
- Treat this as an addiction that causes you harm and prevents your happiness and wholeness
- If recommended, pursue seeing a doctor to see if medication can help you gain better control of your feelings